Will Of Fire: The Children Of Konoha
by Izaranna
Summary: -Future Fic- We have a loopy Hokage, lots of Ramen, Sasuke in ANBU, Sakura punching him, Ino being motherly, Chouji eating chips, Hinata NOT stuttering, Shikamaru doing paperwork, Temari screaming and Gaara sighing. We also have kids that will drive you insane. Come on, read! You know you want to ! NaruHina ShikaTema SasuSaku KakaShizu ChouIno NejiTen. A Next generation story
1. Paint-bombs are useless!: The Prologue

_"People become stronger because they have memories they can't forget."_

_**The Prologue**_

* * *

_**(A/N: This story takes place after the end of the Fourth Shinobi War.)**_

Naruto decided dying the Hokage robes orange was a good idea. He tried so hard to paint bomb Tsunade that she decided (on the advice of her counselor) that it would be less troublesome to just make him Hokage. He was so proud of himself that he established 'Konoha Ramen Day' the day he was handed the key to the Hokage Office.

Eventually, the people of Konoha decided that enough was bloody enough, and threatened to defect to Iwa if the day was celebrated ever again.

Eye witnesses state that they had never seen Naruto cry as badly as that day.

Hinata, using magical Hyuuga powers (with a heavy dose of 'Power of Youth!') became the Head of the Hyuuga Clan.

Due to circumstances beyond her control, Team Gai and Kiba coerced her into going out and having a drink with them. Shino was otherwise engaged. Kurenai was on a mission. Against all her instincts and inhibitions, she drank a few rounds. The next thing she knew, she was in Naruto's apartment. On his bed.

Fearing the worst, she began hyperventilating and running around the place like a headless chicken in the rain. When Naruto entered the room, looking dog-tired and worn out, Hinata saw him and began apologizing frantically. Naruto, startled, asked her to 'Calm down Hinata-chan!' and said that he had found her passed out at the bar along with her entourage and taken them all home. Except her, because he couldn't exactly walk into the Hyuuga compound in the middle of the night carrying the Clan Head now could he?

Hinata felt the need to point out that putting her on his bed wasn't the smartest idea.

He scratched his head thoughtfully and said that since he loved her, he didn't see how that would be a problem. Hinata sighed and explained to him that it was improper to let a virgin maiden sleep in a man's bed, especially when they didn't love each other. In the middle of her lecture, she processed what he said, blushed, and promptly passed out.

Needless to say, NaruHina became official that day. After the 16th failed attempt on the Rokudaime Hokage's life, Sasuke decided he was in Konoha for good. He eventually resolved to make as many Uchiha babies he possibly could. Sakura disapproved and hit him on the head with a chakra-infused fist quite a few times before he conceded that he should probably get married first. She hit him again as a precaution. And because it was fun.

Shikamaru and Temari finally decided that marriage was not for them. The amount of paperwork they had to go through was not worth it. So, as all geniuses do, Shikamaru told the Rokudaime that Temari had changed her name. Confused, Naruto asked 'What the Heck?' and Shikamaru calmly said she was now Nara Temari. A similar scenario took place in the Kazekage's office. Gaara and Naruto simply nodded sagely. Gaara smirked and Naruto winked conspiratorially. The Council was stumped.

Shikamaru : 1 Council: 0

Ino joined the T&I department. She became so far gone that no one could save her. Until one day, as she was having her Daily Dango Break, Chouji offered her a chip. She cracked her first smile in months. Some things never changed. She took a chip and sat next to him. They didn't speak. They didn't need to. Life was good.

Kakashi had randomly decided that medics were hot. He hung out at the hospital, reading Icha Icha Paradise, the last edition, all the time now. Never let it be said that he was there to keep Sakura company, as he felt he had neglected her when she was his student. Eventually, Shizune snapped. She grabbed the book and set it on fire. 'Get out of here! You're disturbing the patients!' Tonton oinked in agreement. Kakashi was pissed off. And since it's a given that Kakashi was above mundane human etiquettes (and the gossip network, thank goodness), the next thing everybody knew, Kakashi had moved in with Shizune. No one knows what happened to this day. No one wanted to know either.

Neji helped Hinata reach the status of Clan Head and argued in his detached/passionate way that the Hyuuga elders listened to him more than they did Hinata, and Neji was the acting Clan Head. Tenten went into ANBU at the same time as Lee and they decided that Lee should 'SHUT UP!' and just go ask that civilian out so that team Gai's headache would be over and done with. He'd been mooning over her for the past three months. Gai cried manly youthful tears at the engagement. Tenten face-palmed and Neji groaned.

Their sanity brought them together in their darkest hours (Lee visited very frequently) and they gave the sex thing a try. They happened to enjoy it. They continued. Life was good.

Hana became Clan Head and Kiba was the best dog trainer in Konoha. Shino became his own Clan's head. They went out drinking frequently with Kurenai tagging along. Good times.

Konohamaru and Hanabi spontaneously combusted in each others' faces and ended up doing a classic NaruSasu Academy Style. They didn't talk for the next week and avoided each other's gazes in public. Konohamaru, in classic Naruto fashion, bluntly stated that 'we'd better Hook Up.'

Hanabi was not amused. They did 'hook up' after she Jyuuken-ed him to next week.

Gaara had an 'affaire', Kankuro was shocked, Temari was amused and Suna was in uproar. Gaara shrugged and went about doing Kazekage work without giving a damn. 2 years later, The crowds espied a bundle of small flaying limbs in their beloved Kazekage's arms. It kept the gossip mill running for a good decade. Gaara simply sighed it all away.

Did I forget anyone?

Gai was best man at Lee's wedding. Neji was disgruntled.

Tsunade drunk herself to oblivion during Naruto and Hinata's wedding.

No one ever did find out whether Shikamaru and Temari were married.

The streets of Konoha frequently echoed with the screams of a dying man—Kakashi—as Shizune burnt his 'Precious'.

Naruto made the burning of 'the book' an official D-rank. Until people started begging for Tora retrieval missions.

Neji and Tenten insist they have a platonic relationship. It was unbelievable, even to Lee. After all, he _did _walk into them in a very compromising position.

Sasuke and Sakura's signing of the matrimonial papers didn't come as a shock to anyone. Though people did badmouth Sasuke for a long time. Sasuke shrugged and moved on.

Sakura was head medic. Sasuke was ANBU Commander codename: Taka. Naruto loves Ramen.

Neji was stoic. Tenten was embarrassed. Lee was youthful.

Hinata did not stutter(cue shocked expressions). Kiba and Akamaru were in ANBU. Shino was Shino and forgotten.

Shikamaru was the Hokage's advisor. Ino was head of T&I. Chouji became a Jounin-sensei.

Kankuro was the Kazekage's advisor and primary babysitter. Temari was Jounin Hanchou. Gaara waged war with paperwork.

_**But the fun has only just begun.**_

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_**This is a story of the Next Generation of Naruto. **_

_**Sporadic updates. Depends on how much time I'm willing to spend on this.**_

_**Idea hit me thanks to Abdullahsaurus. Thanks, man! ^^**_

_**Read and Review!**_


	2. Where Ramen is Loved: Meet Kushina-hime

**Will Of Fire: Children of Konoha**

_Chapter One: Where Ramen is loved: Meet Kushina-hime_

"_**Sometimes you must hurt in order to know and fall in order to grow; lose in order to gain because life's greatest lessons are learnt through Pain."**_

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It was a bright and sunny day in Konoha. The birds were chirping 'Aho! Aho!' and Lee was kicking the forever-in-need-to-be-replaced practice dummy. Tenten stood next to the dummy, feeling empathetic to the poor straw-filled inanimate object. But we digress.

What should really be noticed by the wonderful readers of this story is the red-haired midget kicking the neighboring practice dummy for all she was worth. Hair flaying and arms whacking the wood repeatedly, this little midget was the up and coming Taijutsu master (or mistress for you annoying gender-specific people) of her beloved Konoha. She would be the best or she'd not eat ramen for a year. Lifetime promise. And an Uzumaki never goes back on their promise. Granted she was part Hyuuga, but what did that matter.

"It is time for you to return to your youthful class Kushina-hime! We wouldn't want you to be unyouthfully late!" Lee screeched loudly in her ear. The first time he'd done it, she had to be taken to the hospital because she'd collapsed. Curse her mother's fainting prowess! Now though, Kushina was used to it. She nodded despondently and dragged her feet to the dastard-doom-room. She was positive the teachers were brewing potions that would make the mythical Orochimaru shudder.

Kushina did not like two things especially. One was being underestimated. Two was studying. She'd much rather eat her dad's toad. As she banged open the door, the act barely causing a stir, she headed to the back of the classroom and sat there glumly. School sucked.

A raven-haired boy walked up to her seat and plopped onto the seat next to her and muttered a hello. She didn't even glance at him to know that he had 'the look' on his face. Minato never was a morning person. She blamed their dad for that.

As the students milled about, chatting about things such as the Kyuubi Festival and the new type of flower hybrid being exported to Kumo and the Hokage's Ramen bills and the Hokage's advisors latest nervous breakdown, the teacher decided to make his entrance. He was an old man with graying hair and a scar across his nose. Kushina perked up almost instantaneously. She loved Iruka-sensei's classes. But alas, her class was graduating today, so this would probably be the last time she saw him. Beside her, Minato jerked awake. He rubbed his eyes, with the fangirls squeeing on the sidelines ("useless lowlives…" Kushina muttered), and blinked his bright blue eyes. His spiky black hair looked even more messed up and Kushina sneered in disdain. What did the fangirls see in him anyway?

"Class, SHUT UP!"

Pin-drop silence. Many physically cowered.

Never before has a teacher been so feared and so loved. Rumor had it that he defeated the Legendary Akatsuki single-handedly, while lecturing them on chakra usage. Did Kushina believe them? Yes she did.

"Now that I have all of your attention, Choujiro, stop chewing with your mouth open!, I would like to say, it has been a pleasure teaching you all and I hope that one day, we'll met again and you'll all have fulfilled your goals and become the great shinobi that I know you have the potential of being."

Inori, the Yamanaka-baka, coughed loudly. Clearly, he didn't believe some people had the potential. She felt like bashing his brains. And she would.

Iruka-sensei went on like as if nothing had happened. He had years of experience after all.

"Now without further ado, I will call out your team placements. You've been placed in groups of three— "

"I'm up! What'd I miss?" A dirt-blonde haired girl yelled from behind Kushina. Kushina sighed. Would this never end?

"As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, (he glared at the girl warningly) I will be placing you in—"

"Yeah, yeah. Move on already and tell us who's with whom for the rest of their goddamn lives would ya?" The girl drawled. Nara Shikari was so annoying at times.

"SHUT THE HELL UP YOU MUTTON HEADED SUNA COCK SUCKER! WE'RE TRYING TO CONCENTRATE ON IRUKA-SENSEI'S BORING LECTURE!" _Whoops_, Kushina thought as her anger subsided. Now she'd done it. She sank back into her seat shyly and began twiddling her thumbs. She blamed her mum for the nervous habit.

She didn't hear the rest of the lecture because she was so embarrassed, but an Uzumaki never backs down! So, while giving herself a mental pep talk, she raised her head to see Minato looking very happy. He had that goofy smile that her whole family sported. She looked at him curiously and he whispered that they were on the same team. Kushina was ecstatic. She mwahaha-ed mentally.

When Iruka-sensei was done with his lecture, he looked at them one last time before smiling softly and wishing them good luck. Kushina felt sorry for him. The poor guy was going to have to teach her little brother next year, and it would suck. Oh well.

Minato turned towards her and said in his calm voice, "We have Kokoro on our team." Kushina exploded.

"WHAT!? HOW COULD THEY DO THIS TO ME DATTEBAYO!? NO, I WILL NOT WORK WITH THAT ANNOYING, GOOD FOR NOTHING, FLEA-BITTEN—"

"I'm looking for Team 9? Uzumaki Minato, Uzumaki Kushina and Inuzuka Kokoro."

"—INUZUKA FREAK!"

A boy with shaggy brown hair snapped his head up and glared at her darkly. Normally she wouldn't care, but as an Uzumaki of Konoha it was her Kami given duty to glare back.

Magically, even though they were originally on opposite ends of the classroom (something Iruka had been forced to do to keep the last vestiges of his sanity intact), they now stood but a centimeter apart, sparks connecting bright blue eyes to black beady ones. Kushina's hair flew about caused by an oddly suspicious breeze and Kokoro growled.

A man stood at the door, eyeing them both like a dog would a cat (excuse the pun) and was about to yell at them when suddenly a kunai landed a hairsbreadth away from his pretty little head , making his eyes widen and giving him the general appearance of a frog.

A black blur darted forward, tripped Kokoro, yanked Kushina's long red hair and then proceeded to drag them both out of the room with his left eye twitching in annoyance.

The man at the door made a mental note not to mess with Uzumaki Minato. Ever.

As he left the room(which was stunned to silence. Minato was supposed to be calm dattebayo!), he yanked the kunai out of the door and followed them.

Kushina did not like being dragged around by her enraged twin, which was why she made damn sure not to piss him off. This was all that nasty Inuzuka boys' fault! His icky little puppy tippled everywhere, he stank up the place everywhere he went and he was loud and obnoxious! Why, oh Kami-sama why, had the Rokudaime-baka put her on the same team as him?

She started yelling obscenities in Minato's ear nearabouts the same time Kokoro did the same thing. They both glared at each other once more. Minato sighed in exasperation. The man behind them (who really needs a name now that I think about it) chuckled slightly.

_I wonder if this is how it's going to be from now on…_thought the blonde haired man who desperately needs a name.

Suddenly the scene shifts, like as if the power of the ancient ones had interfered. The author of course had nothing to do with it.

They stood in a green clearing, where birds were chirping (Konohamaru, with white bird poop on his head, yelled colourful no-no words), squirrels yelled at each other angrily (until an acorn fell on one of them, instantly killing it, and the other did a victory dance. Till it realized that now he had to do all the nut-gathering on his own. Stupid good for nothing brother-in-squirrel code!) and the sky threatened to cry.

The man who-would-be-their-sensei-if-the-author-has-anything-to-do-with-it looked at his three little kittens thoughtfully.

A red haired spitfire with angry blue eyes, a brown haired beady eyed brat, a black haired demon with calm blue eyes and a dog.

This was going to be fun. "I'm gonna be you Jounin-sensei, so we might as well get the introductions out of the way. I despise them, so make them as short as possible, got it?!"

"If you hate them so much, why do them?" Kokoro mumbled.

"It's protocol."

Kushina cursed. Stupid Rokudaime!

"My name is Uzumaki Minato. I enjoy eating ramen and helping people learn, I normally study sealing and my dream is to become a Jounin-sensei that will teach a team that will change the world." He smiled serenely at the end, as if lost in a world only he knew.

"That's nice. Next!"

"My name's Uzumaki Kushina dattebayo and I like ramen. Especially shio ramen. I train and train and I'll become the best Taijutsu user of Konoha dattebayo!" She grinned happily at the end.

"You said train twice."

" 'Cause I do it a lot. Duh!"

"Uh-huh. Next!"

"My name's Inuzuka Kokoro and this is my partner Jiikomaru. I like taking walks in the compound park and playing tag. I dislike girls a lot! And I'm going to become a dog-trainer even better than Kiba-jii-chan-sama!" He smirked proudly at the end.

"Jii-chan-sama?"

"Yeah! He's awesome that way, so he needs two titles!"

"Okay then. My name is Utatane Akihiko, but you lot should call me Akihiko-sensei. I like a few thing and dislike a bunch of other things. I suppose I read a bit, but I also like going for walks in Konohas' streets. I have already fulfilled my dream, but I suppose I wish to be the best I can possibly be." He shrugged at the end.

Minato looked rather startled. "Akihiko-sensei?"

"Yes demon?" Minato brushed the nickname aside. Name calling really didn't affect him anymore. Kushina did enough of that for it to be a part of his day-to-day life.

"You're introduction…"

"What about it?"

"It was the longest dattebayo! And you told us to make it short! You're a hypogriff!"

"You mean hypocrite girl."

"Shut up Inuzuka-teme."

"You shut up!"

"Make me"

"I will!"

Minato yanked Kushina's hair and punched Kokoro in the gut.

Akihiko sighed. "Look, just meet me at training ground 3 at 9 tomorrow morning and see if you're worth the trouble."

"What do you mean by that Aki-sensei?" Kushina asked, trying and failing to make the pain of having your hair yanked go away. Maybe it was because she was hitting her head to make it go away, but that is just the humble authors opinion.

"Don't call me that. And you should know, 66% of the students don't become Genin. Let's see if your worth it, 'kay?"

He left them, Kokoro clutching his stomach with a constipated look, Jiikomaru looking at Minato hesitantly(to bite or not to bite?), Kushina in stunned silence and Minato looking grim and determined.

Round 1: Team 9 meets

* * *

Name: Uzumaki Kushina

Age: 12 years old

D.O.B: 2nd November 103 A.R.S (After Rikudo-Sennin)

Favourite saying: The World is Insane. I need my ramen!

Family: Uzumaki Naruto (father), Uzumaki Hinata (mother), Uzumaki Minato (twin brother), Uzumaki Kazama (younger brother)

Team: Inuzuka Kokoro, Uzumaki Minato, Utatane Akihiko

Likes: Training with Lee-sensei, sparring with Lee-sensei, eating ramen with the Hokage and teasing Kazama.

Dislikes: Know-it-all pricks (Minato), Genjutsu, tomatoes and Yamanaka-baka

Strengths: Taijutsu, luck

Weaknesses: Strategizing, patience, Genjutsu

Favourite weapon: Fists and leg

Favourite attack: A kick in the nads!

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_**(A/N: Anything else you'd like to know about Kushina? Thanks Abdullahsaurus, you obnoxious prick, thanks to those that reviewed and if you've read this story, review it or I won't write it!)**_


	3. We are Genin: Does anybody care?

Hinata eyed the bane of her existence with a ferocity that would have a full grown man crying. Those golden coils of irritation were looking at her with, if not equal ferocity, equal intensity. Plumes of smoke rose from the pot in which her enemy was slowly being tortured—I mean cooked . Yes faithful readers. It was Ramen-sama.

Uzumaki Kazama sighed as he saw his mother waging war with ramen (the most delightful food on the planet don'tcha know?) and gazed at the sky outside. It was bright and it might not rain for a while. He looked back at his mother and noticed that she was now chopping up the carrots with a telltale hint of killer intent. Mother was in one of her food-torturing moods.

His big brother and sister were going to meet their sensei today. He hoped they got stuck with some defective piece of junk but as it was, his dad was the Hokage and by proxy, he was their dad too so he was forced to acknowledge that they wouldn't get a sucky Jounin-sensei.

The burst door open. Yes, the mix of words was completely intentional. Because when Hatake Tsuki was involved, grammar went to hell to burn.

Kazama eye him with great suspicion. He had known Tsuki for years and the guy was prone to acting whacky and all together 'kunoichi-like' if you're idea of a kunoichi was a pissed off Tsunade-sama. "Guess what?"

"I will not guess what."

"Guess."

"I have not lived this long by acting foolish. I will not guess."

Tsuki walked up to him and grabbed him by his collar. "Guess."

"I don't care."

"STOP ACTING LIKE A PRISSY UCHIHA AND F#$*& ! GUESS!"

"The world is about to end."

"No."

"Rokudaime-sama has declared ramen day again?" Kazama asked hopefully.

"No." Tsuki looked slightly disturbed. Perhaps it was the drool leaking from the corner of Kazama's mouth, but we digress.

"The rumors have been proven true and Kurenai-sama really does have a beard?"

"NO!"

" We're actually from the past and have come to save the future?"

"No."

"We're a part of a crappy fanfiction that doesn't have a plot and the author is just winging it?"

Tsuki looked at him weirdly. "I'm not even going to ask."

His mother's voice drifted into his ears. "You're playing a very dangerous game Kazama-chan. Messing with the fourth wall is forbidden in this realm."

"Sorry mother."

Tsuki was frustrated. These Uzumaki's never did make any sense. So as any sensible shinobi would do, he kicked Kazama in the shin twice and told him that the third generation of Ino-Shika-Chou had been formed.

"I knew that."

"You suck."

The door banged open a second time and Kazama swore that the door would need fixing if it was banged open again.

In stepped his loving and familial—

"KAZAMA YOU COCK SUCKER, GUESS WHO'S THE BEST KUNOICHI EVER DATTEBAYO!?"

-sister and brother. Notice the sarcasm.

Kushina and Kazama didn't have the best relationship on account of the fact that she swore a lot and he didn't generally condone such behavior. Minato nii-san was somewhere in between. A peacemaker.

Hinata congratulated the hyper girl and promised her lots of ramen and generally made a big fuss over her. Kazama had reason to believe that she had the in-built talent of tuning out hyperactive swearing. He, unfortunately, did not have that skill.

The door banged open a third time (the poor poor door) and tore from its hinges. But of course, it was the specialty of the household to not care about such inane things as destroyed necessary property. They were Uzumaki after all.

Rokudaime Hokage-sama, sometimes known as The Orange Idiot (TOI), The Dad, The Husband, The Boss, the Student, The Legacy, The Child Of Prophecy, The Toad Sage, The Prude, The Dobe and occasionally That Guy, had begun enthusiastically yelling in his children's ears about how **awesome** they were dattebayo! and how he's so very proud of them and that they'll protect Konoha even better than he had because 'You're _my _children after all and not Sasuke-teme's dattebayo!'. Kazama's ears were ringing by the time they'd had ramen and re-enumerated all of the previous Team 7's epic adventures. Tsuki stayed over as he almost always did because his mom worked late night shifts at the hospital and his dad was on long term diplomatic missions often.

Kazama contemplated his life. He was the youngest of the household and, as is often the case, was ignored quite a bit. It wasn't exactly new to him and he'd gotten over it, but he knew he was weaker than his siblings. While Minato nii-san sucked at Taijutsu and Kushina was abysmal at Genjutsu, they were geniuses in their own fields. Minato nii-san was a prodigy at fuinjutsu and Kushina was a Taijutsu genius. He was nowhere near their level. Kushina was loud and obnoxious and wore her heart on her sleeve and Minato nii-san had epic diplomatic skills. Kazama didn't have any of that. He was introverted and didn't talk much. He rarely ever spoke up and thus was a wallflower. He rolled over in bed. Tsuki snored. _At least I have an awesome friend I can rely on _he thought happily. Although there was that time that Tsuki abandoned him to his fate when Hitomi tried to kill him…

* * *

Shikari gazed at the Nara house, the place she had been a prisoner to for the last 12 years of her life. Not that there was anything wrong with it, it's just that it was a bit claustrophobic and she happened to like the outdoors better. She avoided the front door all together and went through the side door. Which ninja is stupid enough to enter their own home through the front door (weird ninja's that's who. I mean, everyone knows that front doors are for the _un_cool ninjas.)

She expertly flipped on to the ledge that was conveniently placed about mid distance from the ground to the second floor and swung herself onto the window sill. She opened the window and got in. _Perfectly executed. The downside_ she thought as she stepped on something squishy_, is that I should have checked to see if there were any ambushers. _

"Ow you brat." Her dad grunted lazily. Hence why there were no exclamation marks or commas. _Troublesome. _

Her mother entered the room and Shikari panicked.

"Congratulations brat. Of course, if you weren't so damn lazy you'd have passed two years ago but who's counting?" Her mom was a beautiful woman. She was nice, compassionate and diplomatic. Downside? She was troublesome at best and a mother at worst.

_If she's here and dad is hiding out in my room, then that means—_

"Onee-sama! Are you Genin? Were you the best in your year? Is your sensei cool? Have you gone on a mission yet? HAVE YOU KICKED BUTT?!" an overexcitable brown hair-at-shoulder-length and green eyed 8 year old kid yelled excitedly.

_-Kei-baka is here. _Most of the time, life in the Nara House was quiet. Her dad was at the Hokage Office battling paperwork and she was at the academy or on the grounds sleeping or training. But when her mother and brother came to visit from Suna, life went to hell.

She had her mom's hair colour and the spikiness was 'freaking genetic!' she swears. She was tall for a girl of her age and she normally wore subtle tones like brown or light blue and forest green. Kei however, was the epitome of 'bad ninja' in terms of clothing. He wore bright green and yellow often and he was really loud. He had their dad's hair colour, something he despised himself for.

Yes, despised. Because Kei hated their dad. Just like Shikari didn't all together adore her mom. She was just so _troublesome_ and she _yelled_ too much and didn't let her go _out_ enough.

Kei hated dad because he was too lazy and sloppy and _he was stealing his __**mom**__ away from him_ and 'how dare he do that!'

As Shikari stared at her odd family, one of which was under her feet. "Troublesome." Dad and her muttered in unison.

"Stop copying my sister you annoying pessimistic freak!"

"No yelling at your father Kei!"

"But he started yet!"

"He didn't even do anything!"

"He was drooling!"

Temari glanced at Shikamaru who looked even more troubled than usual. No drool, check.

"He was not! Stop causing trouble when it's not necessary! Your sister was just like this when she was a kid!"

Shikari narrowed her eyes. "I was never troublesome you hag! It was all you!"

"Stop fighting all of you." Shikamaru said exasperatedly.

"Don't tell me what to do!" Kei yelled for all he was worth at the man lying on the ground under Shikari's feet.

_Typical, just typical. Who cares whether I graduated or not. We've got mom to contend with._

She happily omitted Kei's involvement in the problem.

The day flew by as fast as a lame duck in a frozen pond. (hint hint: duck butt hair) As Shikari mercifully went to bed, her head pounded uncontrollably. It always did. And people wondered why she slept so much. Her room door opened by a fraction and in stepped her dad.

Shikamaru looked down at his first child and whispered something in her ear that made her sleep with a smile on her face.

"_I'm proud of you."_

* * *

After partying with the gang on a job well done and 'could the Genin exams get any easier?' was flung about before all of them headed home, Inori had to pick up Choujiro.

Inori was a handsome boy, even by his mother's standards (trust him, Akimichi Ino was _very_ hard to please) with light blonde coloured hair that reached his hips and bangs that gently fell over his pale blue eyes that usually pierced everything he gazed upon but were now dull and gloomy. Inori didn't hate Choujiro, though everyone who knew him swore that he did, because let's face it, twins can't hate each other no matter how hard they tried. And believe him, he'd tried.

Inori, while happy that he had graduated, wasn't that pleased with the idea of being on the same team as Choujiro. He was weak and they both knew it. Choujiro would be dead weight. And Shikari was too bitchy to really be a joyful addition to the duo.

_Why couldn't I be on the same team as Kushina-hime? _thought Inori in melancholy as he saw Choujiro in the distance. He walked up to the plump boy and asked him how he felt about the team placements.

"I don't know, but I'm really glad Kokoro's not on our team. I think I would have cried!" Another crippling thing about his twin was that he cried too easily. Inori swore something happened to them at birth and he took all the shinobi-ness out of Choujiro. Choujiro would say that something did happen and it was that he'd taken all of Inori's ability to feel.

As they walked home, they discussed things like 'Minato looked like he came back from the dead today!' and 'What's it going to be like being on a team with bitchi-ari?' and 'I wonder if she'll have a nervous breakdown like her dad does all the time…'

They entered their clan grounds and walked through the front door like normal human beings. Unlike paranoid aerobics instructors and Rock Lee. The weird people. Thank goodness they didn't know anybody who didn't walk through their own front door to enter their house.

"WELCOME HOME BOYS!" their mother yelled as soon as they'd set foot into the house. There was confetti on the floor and a banner stating 'TO THE COOLEST NINJA'S TO EVER WEAR THE HEADBAND'

Inori went red with embarrassment and humiliation. If Kushina-hime saw this, she'd really hate me! He promised he would do something to reduce the embarrassment his mom caused so that he'd be prepared for the time he asked Kushina-hime over for dinner when she became his girlfriend.

Which would happen just as soon as he got the courage to look her in the eye. Just as soon as that happened.

His dad smiled at them and handed them a chips packet each. He gave Inori the high calorie one though. Inori mentally sighed.

Choujiro grinned and thanked dad and immediately began stuffing his face with the food on the table. He hung back and wished he were anywhere but here. His mom grinned at him cheerfully and told him to 'dig in! Made it myself.' And Inori had to eat it. His mom making something for them implied that she'd worked hard for it and spent time on it—time she could have been spending in rehab after her grueling missions. He'd been raised to appreciate the care a woman put in her work for her men. He'd be damned if his mother was disappointed in him!

He hadn't inherited his father's appreciation for food. Most would think this was a good thing but it wasn't for him.

Why? Because he was to be the 18th head of the Akimichi clan as in he'd have to do their jutsus, as in he'd need to be fat. But try as he might, his metabolism was too fast and his appetite was too little. Choujiro was going to be the head of the Yamanaka clan someday and he sucked at the clan's jutsus.

_If only I were born second._

"Who's your sensei?"

"Sarutobi Asuma."

Ino and Chouji smiled sadly but his it quite well. After all, Asuma-sensei wouldn't want them to feel bad so many years down the line.

"That's amazing! I heard he was a real prodigy. You're lucky to have him as your sensei!"

"If only I were born a civilian…"

"Don't chu want cho be a chinobi atch all Inoli?"

"Don't talk with your mouth full Choujiro, it's unsightly."

"Yes dad." Choujiro gulped down the food and asked his question again.

"I'd rather be a civilian than deal with bitchi-ari on a daily basis." Inori said firmly. Women were one thing, Shikari was another. She wasn't human let alone female.

"We're going to have another test though, to see if we're really cut out to be shinobi." Choujiro looked worried.

Inori snorted. Of course he was worried. Choujiro should be because he wasn't cut out to be a shinobi at all!

"Something funny Inori-chan?" his mom said sweetly. A little too sweetly.

"DON'T KILL ME!"

He ran faster than anything you have ever seen, because of course, you can't see the Yellow Flash when he flashes (not that way you sickos) or when Minato Hiraishins to places.

"I was going to tell him to eat his food is all. Weird child." Ino shook her head morosely as she cleared away the dishes. Chouji got up and helped her. Choujiro said he was a bit tired and went to bed. On the opposite end of the house.

One end for Inori, one for Choujiro. His mom and dad slept somewhere inbetween.

_It shows what we're like really. I'm extremely awesome, Chou's extremely lame and mom and dad are somewhere in between…_

* * *

Name: Uzumaki Minato

Age: 12 years old

D.O.B: 2nd November 103 A.R.S (After Rikudo-Sennin)

Favourite saying: Ramen is power.

Family: Uzumaki Naruto (father), Uzumaki Hinata (mother), Uzumaki Kushina (twin sister), Uzumaki Kazama (younger brother)

Team: Inuzuka Kokoro, Uzumaki Kushina, Utatane Akihiko

Likes: Reading history scrolls, helping mom cook, eating ramen with family, helping Kazama with school work, sparring with Kushina (even though he always loses) and practicing fuinjutsu.

Dislikes: People who want to harm Konoha and Inori (he's not getting within a ten meter range of Kushina if I have anything to say about it!)

Strengths: Strategizing, Fuinjutsu, Speed, improvising and cooking

Weaknesses: Taijutsu and genjutsu

Favourite weapon: Ninja wire (trapping an enemy is better than beating them to a bloody pulp. Violence is good only when necessary)

Favourite attack: Hiraishin

* * *

**(A/N: I'm sorry the story is progressing so slowly but I am setting the scene and it is a bit difficult to write long chapters because I'm so used to writing short ones! **

**Team 10 is Inori, Shikari and Choujiro. I hope I've made them as realistic as possible! **

**Who do you guys want a bio for now?**

**Review so I may write! Thanks again Abdullahsaurus {he's forcing me to write this})**


	4. The Actual Torture

**Will Of Fire: Children of Konoha**

**Chapter 3: The Actual Torture**

_**"Life is too fucking hard, so I'm going to kill some people"-Uchiha Sasuke**_

* * *

Temari, sister of the Kazekage and wife of the Hokage's advisor, was doing the most difficult thing known to man. It was a dangerous task, not for the fainthearted—ironing.

Piles upon piles of freshly laundered clothes (or five weeks old. Who's counting really?) lay around her, protecting her from all sides. The house echoed with the snores of 3 very very lazy Naras as the great and amazing Temari-sama folded yet another hakama and dumped onto a pile of underwear.

She heard a crash near the staircase roughly 9 feet away from where she stood. Then footsteps that drawled in a very Nara-ish way. A thump and a clink of Kusa (china in our world, Kusa in theirs. Not that surprising because there isn't a china in the shinobi continent as far as The Author is aware) followed.

Three, two, one. Temari thought as the yelling that was predestined to happen reached her ears.

"That's my cereal you manwhore!"

"Troublesome brat, this isn't even your house."

"Shut up you lazy-arses and pass me the milk."Shikari drawled exasperatedly.

"Get up and get it yourself troublesome woman."

"Don't talk to Onee-sama-senpai-san-chan-sensei-kun like that you fatherless fatherwhore!"

"Stop ending your sentences with whore Kei."Shikari grunted.

"Fatherwhore?"Shikamaru questioned the sanity of Suna-nin. Until he remembered Lee.

"Yes dad, he called you a fatherwhore. Now pass me the damn milk."

"Here you go onee-sama!"Kei gave her the milk after wrestling it from their father's hands.

"Thanks Kei."Shikari said resignedly.

"Good luck for your Genin test today." Shikamaru said

"Troublesome." Shikari ended.

After around ten minutes of blissful not-thinking, Temari finished ironing the last of the hakamas. Now to start on the bloody obi(s).

"Temari, where're my clothes? I've got a one-night stand I need to get to."

"MOTHERWHORE!"

"He's our dad, she's our mom. We happened because they fucked each other. Get that through your thick skull."

"Onee-sama!"

Temari did not speak. She blatantly ignored Shikamaru and continued ironing that damn twenty yard long obi.

"Temari?"

She pressed on this particularly creasy spot with vigor only displayed during annihilation of Zetsu clones.

"Temari? Why are you pissed off before 10 am?" Shikamaru asked resignedly. He prepared himself mentally (and discretely guarded his genitals from her wrath) for The Fan.

It never came.  
"Why would I be pissed off at you darling?" Shikamaru gaped. She said the 'D' word.

"Shit dad, what did you do?"

Shikamaru was about to find out.

* * *

The paperwork. A freshly sharpened pencil. A pencil sharpener. A check list.

These were the ingredients chosen to create the least amount of stress for the Hokage!

But, Professor Uzumaki added an extra ingredient to the concoction:

A bowl of Ramen.

And thus, the paperwork was gone at the speed of light, allowing the Rokudaime Hokage to dedicate his day to spying on little kids – I mean Genin—as they are tortured!—I mean tested—by their Jounin-sensei.

Naruto and Konohamaru peered into the orb of mystical magic as it showed them a picture of the 9th training ground, with a redheaded spitfire, a calm but tense black-haired prodigy and an Inuzuka who doesn't require a pretty descriptive nickname.

This was going to be fun. Shikamaru cursed from the adjacent room. Screw Temari and her PMS-ing!

* * *

Team 9 waited at The Bridge, where the Nakano river flowed like the tears Akihiko swore he would make them cry.

"Hey guys!" Team 9 jumped violently as their sensei snuck up behind them. Only Minato drew a kunai at the threat. Interesting. So only he fought with weapons. The other two had their arms in a standard guard position.

Kushina, upon identifying the enemy, sighed in relief and kneed him in the gut. Akihiko was not pleased.

"I'm not…the enemy." Ouch it hurt.

"You are male. All men are the enemy."

"It is true Aki-sensei. You shouldn't've surprised a woman. They are scary when they're mad." Kokoro winced as he remembered his pregnant mama training Jiikomaru and nearly killing him. The poor puppy whimpered.

"Point taken. Now to get on with the survival training. You see that flagpole over there?"

The three Genin and puppy turned 180 degrees clockwise and spotted an incongruous flagpole in the centre of a very flat and trimmed-grassy clearing. A gentle wind blew by to add to the disappointed atmosphere. Couldn't it have been a bit more dramatic?

"Your mission is to grab that flagpole and bring it back to this point within the hour. You are not allowed to use fire jutsus, if you know any, and you can't use the substitution jutsu. If you even think about using the Hiraishin, you die a verbal death Minato."

Akihiko-sama-er-sensei poofed away, leaving the four deadpanned Genin to figure out how much time they should kill before grabbing the flagpole, which would take 5 minutes if they walked slowly.

"Well, I'll go grab the flagpole and then we can ditch this place so that I can get some training in, 'kay dattebayo?!" Kushina said-yelled.

"I don't think it's going to be that easy—" began Minato, but as usual, Kushina completely and utterly ignored him.

Kokoro grunted annoyedly. He could be doing so much better with his time! Like eating dango or farting in Hoshino-imouto's face!

But it was not to be that simple, for Aki-sensei had rigged the whole training ground with multi-layered trips that made grabbing the flagpole a daunting task. Kushina took one step near the flagpole, and several Katana came shooting out of the bushes directly at her. If it weren't for Minato and her fast reflexes, she would have died. Like a porcupine. _OH MY GOD, I OWE MINATO MY LIFE! HOW COULD THIS DAY GET ANY WORSE!?_

"Well, that plan was a bust."

"Shut up Inuzuka!"

"Both of you, I think I have a plan."

"I don't really care what you have to say, princess." Kokoro drawled.

"Oi, you got a problem with my brother you freak!?"

"Yeah, he's related to you!"

"At least my best friend isn't a puppy!"

"Right, cause you don't have any friends at all!"

The clearing was deadly silent.

"I think we should work together and get the flagpole, and I have a plan." Minato said, finally mustering up the courage to voice his own opinion.

"I'm not listening to anything you say dattebayo!"

"Yeah, cause no one wants to listen to a know-it-all!"

Minato twitched.

"And you know what you are? A Freaking Inuzuka PUPPY!"

"I'm never going to work with you two! You guys are both loonies!"

"Yeah, cause the only thing I see in this clearing is an infestation of boys! We need to exterminate the lot of you hairy bastards!"

"Yeah, well you can just shove your annoying bitchiness down your—"

A dull thunk was heard as two heads were slammed against each other by a pissed off raven head.

Minato twitched.

"I have a plan, and you_** will**_ listen to me."

Thankfully, neither one of them could answer. Minato took that as an affirmative.

* * *

Meanwhile, in another clearing of Konoha, Team 10 was being bored to death as they waited. And waited. And waited.

Inori sighed very theatrically and pointedly glared at the patch of harmless overgrown grass in front of him. He had spent the past half hour intermittently gritting his teeth in annoyance, braiding his long wheat-coloured hair and sighing. Shikari was just about sick of it. Due to the troublesomeness of the sighs, she couldn't get comfortable.

She wanted to catch a little bit of 'the bliss' that is sleep before 12 o'clock, but alas, the Yamanaka-baka kept on bloody sighing and that round useless mass of flesh was crunching on this gigantic bag of chips for the past half hour and it was bloody killing her, and why was she still here? She could always go home.

**Ah, but the problem with that **she thought lazily, _is that mom is mad at dad because they haven't had sex in five hours and 1 minute. _

Yes, her parents got angry at each other if they didn't have sex at five hour intervals. Why? Because while normal, sane parents worked out household schedules after their non-marriage-marriages, her parents decided to calculate the amount of time they wouldn't be able to have sex if they lived in two different villages, and made a compromise. For the duration of either one of their stays at their home villages, the partner on home turf would have to provide adequate erotic stimuli.

Troublesome.

"WHERE IS THAT RETARDED CHAIN-SMOKER!"

And as if by magic, he poofed into existence.

"You had better have had a damn good reason for making us wait for half a holy hour just so that we could finish a—"

"Shut up Inori. Can we just get it over with?" It wasn't much of a question because they would get this over with. She hadn't been doing anything for the past half hour but sitting on the cool grass till her butt went numb, but he was her superior so she figured he deserved a bit of respect. For now.

"What, don't I get a 'hello how are you Asuma-sensei?'" He asked chirpily.

"Hello. How are you sensei."

"That is not very enthusiastic Choujiro. Anyway, you all have to give me an introduction to your basic skills. You know, Ninjutsu, Genjutsu and Taijutsu."

Inori fumed in rage and fury. THE HECK?! They spent 30 precious minutes of their life preparing for a Genin test, but instead they get another bloody intro. He was putting his foot down.

"No. I refuse to plagiarized with another damn introduction of damn skills that we don't even have just so that we can waste another half hour trying to sort out whether we were lying or not. I am not doing that. Can we get another sensei please."

The tanned brown-haired 23 year old Jounin faked a look of hurt and sadness.

"Don't you love me anymore?"

"Nope. Never did." The three Genin chorused in various nuances.

Asuma, son of Yuhi Kurenai, was not to be deterred. For his quest was of utmost importance. Nay, it was legendary! He would create…THE THIRD GENERATION OF INO-SHIKA-CHOU!

"Sensei, you do realize you said that out loud, right?" Shikari asked deadpanned.

"I knew that."

Even a green-horned Genin could detect the lie.

"Can we go now?"

"NO! We shall talk about our skill set and we shall find out whether you're worthy of being a shinobi, or my name isn't Sarutobi Asuma!"

"What is your name then sensei?" Choujiro asked innocently. Asuma deflated and started weeping inconsolably. Shikari looked on with disgust.

"That is our sensei?"

She was pissed. Was this some kind of joke?

"I graduated Ninja Academy to play kiddy games with an overgrown baby, an effeminate boy and a meat tanker?"

"TAKE THAT BACK BITCHIARI!"

"What'd you call me?" Shikari growled at Inori.

"I called you a bitch. You know, the thing they call people who don't know when to shut up!"

Shikari was a genius. Shikari was the first child and only daughter of the Hokage's advisor and the Suna ambassador. She was the Kazekage's neice. But she never claimed she was patient.

"At least I don't talk all the time you girl!"

"AT LEAST I HAVE A SENSE OF STYLE! YOU LOOK LIKE YOUR MOM DRESSED YOU UP!"

"YOU LOOK LIKE YOU'RE MOURNING A PARAKEET THAT KILLED YOUR DAMN MAMA!"

Inori was pissed off. Big time. No one bloody insults his family and gets away with it!

He flipped towards her and aimed a punch right into her smug face. Shikari, ever so thankful that she would be able to beat the crap out of him, flipped into the air and brought down her gigantic fan, aiming for his pretty little head.

He dodged, and then started straining his face. Is he constipated or what. Shikari thought worriedly. After all, who wants crap on their shoes?

She started moving away from him, which was a good idea in the long run, because suddenly he became a gigantic…GIANT.

"Oh boy, Inori used the body expansion jutsu!" Choujiro exclaimed from the ground.

Asuma simply stared at his two students in stunned silence, and hoped to kami-sama they didn't come near him. He snapped his attention at his last sane-ish student.

"Do you want a drink?"

'You're not supposed to offer minors a drink' is what Choujiro wanted to say, but then he heard a boom from his teammates direction and then he said "Old enough to kill, old enough to drink."

"Now that is what I wanted to hear!" Asuma beamed happily. He took out a magically appearing bottle of booze from his back. How it got there, we shall never know.

As they sipped on their alcohol, another boom resounded around the clearing.

* * *

Name: Akimichi Inori

Age: 12 years old

D.O.B: 11th September 103 A.R.S (After Rikudo-Sennin)

Favourite saying: Shut up!

Family: Akimichi Chouji (father), Yamanaka Ino(mother), Yamanaka Choujiro (twin brother),

Team: Yamanaka Choujiro, Nara Shikari, Sarutobi Asuma

Likes: Kushina-sama!, New Jutsus, his family.

Dislikes: Training with his dad, Bitchiari, overeating, oily foods.

Strengths: ninjutsu, strategy

Weaknesses: Genjutsu, blackmail

Favourite weapon: brain

Favourite attack: Mind transfer Jutsu

* * *

**(A/N: Thank you for reading. Like I said, it is a sporadic story. Thank you to those who reviewed and please continue doing so. Idea given by Abdullahsaurus)**


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